Originally from Boing Boing, but a Guardian article on doing Dumbledore’s Death Scene in the Style of Famous Authors. I’m including one below, but the full list can be found in the article.

Jane Austen:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that an old wizard in possession of a big secret must be in danger of his life.

However little known the existence of this secret, or the views of a such a wizard may be on his first entering Hogwarts, it takes little time for minds of surrounding magicians to consider it the rightful property of themselves or one of their number.

“My dear Dumbledore,” said Hermione one day, “have you heard that there is a dark cloud brooding over the castle?”

Dumbledore mumbled that he had not.

“But there is,” returned she. “Ron Weasley has just been outside and told me all about it.”

Dumbledore made no answer.

“Do you not want to know what is causing it?” she cried impatiently, turning to face the old wizard.

Again, Dumbledore was provokingly silent.

“You must know that Ron says that it is caused by Voldemort. He came down on Monday on a broomstick to view the place and was so much delighted with Harry’s absence that he immediately called in… Dumbledore, do you not wish to hear the remainder?

Dumbledore slumped forward over the pianoforte at which he had been sitting. A discreet trickle of blood began to darken the keys.

Dumbledore? Dumbledore, my dear! You have delighted us at the piano long enough. Really. Now do tell me what you think, Dumbledore.

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With ubiquity of cell phones today, many people need to take a lesson in proper cell phone etiquette. This problem is keenly noticeable when you mix bathrooms with Cell Phones. So I’ve provided a handy little numbered list of Rules of Etiquette for Cell Phone Use in a Public Bathroom:

1. If you are on the phone, don’t enter the bathroom. Finish up your call and then head in. If it is urgent (the bathroom visit, not the call), then tell the person you will have to call them back and the proceed to take care of business. Nobody wants you hanging around in the bathroom talking on your phone. Creep.
2. Phones and urinals don’t mix. Period.
3. If you are riding the porcelain throne and the phone rings, don’t answer it! I promise you that the caller really doesn’t want to hear those noises while they are talking to you. And nobody in the bathroom with you wants to hear your call either. We came in there to take care of business and be left alone. If it is important, they will leave a message or call back later. And I promise you, if you are talking on the phone and I am in the other stall, the person you are talking to WILL hear my noises…
4. MAJOR PET PEEVE ALERT: Don’t just let your phone ring if you aren’t going to answer it. This goes for everywhere, not just in the bathroom. Every cell phone made has some way of turning off the ringer while receiving an incoming call. Figure out how yours works and USE IT. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear Spanish Flea over and over again when I know that you aren’t going to answer the call? Just silence it and save us all some trouble.
5. If you are going to surf the web or play games on your phone while on the john, please turn the noises off. We don’t want to hear you responding to e-mails on your blackberry while making a deposit…

Really people, this is all pretty much common sense!

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